Glad They Didn’t Serve Tomatoes

A Missed Call I Wanted to Return

Last week I received a phone call out of the blue. I saw this person’s name pop up on my phone after coming out of the shower. I knew him for years but not very well and I couldn’t imagine why I was getting a call at 8AM. After listening to his message I was pleasantly surprised to hear that he wanted to hire me to perform/speak to a group of seniors who were ending a week-long scholar program at a local university. The even better part was I had already presented programs at this university on about eight other occasions so I knew the concept of paying speakers for their time and talents was familiar to them. I also always enjoyed their vivacious audiences that had included hundreds of nuns, students, alumni and seniors. But for some reason, I was extra nervous on Friday. I will chalk that up to all of the anxiety that I am feeling lately in my personal and professional life for various reasons – all things that I am working to better manage.

Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner?

When I arrived Friday night the campus looked beautiful in the bright sun of late afternoon and smelled of freshly cut grass. I walked into the building where the dinner was being held and I saw just a few servers for the evening’s event, a few students and one or two seniors milling around. I did not see my contact so I sat down and wrote some notes about what jokes I would do and what laughter yoga exercises would follow. I am always a bit more cautious and concerned about jokes for seniors but I probably shouldn’t be because I tend to do very well with mature audiences who always give me smiles and rave reviews. When my contact did not appear and no other representative from the college approached me, I chose a table where I would sit for the dinner being served before my presentation. I introduced myself to the couple seated there as being the presenter for the evening. In a loud voice, the woman who we will call ‘Sue’ to protect her identity, asked “Oh, are you the comedian?” At that question my shoulders dropped a little as well as my head. I don’t do straight up comedy performances much anymore and I prefer not to be billed as a comedian. I do tell jokes or humorous stories, as I prefer to call them, before I talk about the value that humor and laughter add to our lives and before asking the audience to stand for interactive laughter yoga exercises but I’m not doing a full stand-up act.  I am a writer and an observant person who pays attention to details. I love words and I think they need to be used and interpreted correctly (keep in mind that I say correctly through the eyes of Jeannine, as in: correct grammar, accurate facts, descriptions and information being shared, proper details, etc). I am in the minority perhaps. While it is true that people will interpret as they want to and they will latch on to what they want to, it does make a difference how a message is communicated to determine how it is understood. When people hear that there is going to be a “comedian” after dinner, they prepare mentally to sit back, relax and be entertained. Because I want to engage them intellectually with information about research and anecdotes and I want them to participate physically, it is important to prepare them for what is expected. So I worried that they may not be into my program.

It’s Not the Piano That’s Out of Tune

As more seniors arrived and sat near me, I began to feel comfortable…that was until they ganged up on the poor piano man.  Sue had already commented once to her husband that the piano sounded like it needed to be tuned and they both shared their bad reviews of his playing with one another. Then as dinner went on, another woman, let’s call her Candi, responded to her friend’s question of “What song is he playing?” with “I don’t know but whatever it is, he stinks.” This was the confirmation that Sue needed. She now had her  ammunition to go ask another woman who had been helping with details of the conference all week to make the piano player stop playing. This other woman explained that it would be offensive to ask the piano man to stop playing but she would ask him to play softer to make Sue happy.  All the while an older woman seated to my right, had been commenting about how lovely the songs sounded, but she had a much more subtle presence at the dinner than Sue. As I sat there listening to them trash the piano player who was fine for my layman’s ears, fear rose up from my toes. I thought to myself “I’m glad there are no tomatoes around or they just might throw them.” I worried that they might look for a hook or get up and leave if they didn’t think I was funny.  I was roused from my daydream in which Sue was literally tossing me to the curb by Sue’s soothing statement of “I hope the others don’t mind that you’re not doing all comedy.”  I had thought the same thing but didn’t need Sue commenting on it as well. I told her that hopefully they would use humor to manage their disappointment since that was the point of my program.  Then, more reassurance came from Candi, “YOU are the comedian?” asked with such a degree of surprise that I wondered if I should be the one taking the microphone or if perhaps, Sue might be better suited for the gig. I foolishly began to explain that while I was going to tell some humorous stories, there was more to the program that would require audience participation. Then Candi persisted with “You mean we’re not gonna laugh?”  To that I wanted to answer, “Dear God, I hope you do,” but instead I said, “Yes, you will laugh, not to worry.”

And Now for Something Completely Different

A young, meek college student who had just explained the details of the survey that had been passed out and that the movie being shown after my program was going to be “Wild,” – a movie that Sue told us at dinner she had no interest in seeing – gave me an introduction like none I’ve received before. In her defense, she is inexperienced and was not given proper information or notice. She basically said, “You’re going to have a comedy and laughter program by Jeannine and she’s here with us tonight.” Then she walked away from the mic and all eyes – and bright cafeteria lights – were on me. I started off a little slowly and felt particularly nervous wondering what my table mates from dinner were going to think of me but then I kicked it into high gear and started getting laughs. I even saw Sue and her husband smile and laugh (controlled laughs) a few times. Candi looked like she might have preferred the piano player but that was okay with me because her friend to her right was beaming. Her eyes were laughing.

When it came time to do laughter yoga exercises, all but about four people stood to join me. And among those participating, all but a handful looked like they were into the practice and really enjoying it.  After my program I felt relieved, happy and less stressed. There is something to that feeling of satisfaction, knowing that you succeeded with an audience but there is also the fact that laughter really does work. It makes us feel good. That’s my message. And I am proof that I feel better after laughing and helping others to laugh.

I felt elated to hear comments like “That was just amazing how you got all those people up on their feet laughing because they… well some of them… are kind of glum.” And another woman added that she could not believe I got her husband to participate. More positive comments followed that made me feel very proud and pleased with my ability to be a conduit for laughter and a positive message. I didn’t see Candi after my presentation and Sue and her husband talked to one another while I gathered my belongings, but I know the truth. I saw them smiling. I saw them participating. And I saw them having such a good time that I don’t think they would have thrown tomatoes even if they had them. I’m not so sure about the poor piano man but he’ll have other gigs to play again. Friday night I was happy they were letting me sing my tune and happily singing along with me: Ho ho ho. Ha ha ha. Hee hee hee.

Love and Laughter Are the Couple to Admire

In the public relations class I’ve been teaching, we’ve talked about doing what’s called a SWOT analysis on businesses/organizations so you understand their Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats before formulating a message or messages to an audience. We also talked about how it can be beneficial for us as individuals to do a SWOT analysis on ourselves – in preparation for a job interview, before making big life decisions and just to do some self-reflection. I can tell you with absolute confidence that I am a procrastinator. I am someone who loves to write but who hasn’t written a blog in several weeks. I’m hoping that my strength of good writing will entice you to read on about why we should pair love and laughter this month … and every day really.

February is chock full of celebrations and fun characters,  from Phil, the beloved groundhog who “predicts” our weather, to cupid who spreads the spirit and message of love from one person to another. Wait that sounded almost creepy, like a virus.  Let me try again. February is about celebrating love – the love we have for those who are special to us and the love we have for ourselves by taking healthy actions to keep our hearts strong and healthy. That’s right, in addition to celebrating Valentine’s Day, February also recognizes National Heart Month. While it’s important to be concerned about heart health – and health overall – every day, it is nice to have a month in which we wear red to raise awareness and remind people of things like the fact that heart disease kills more women than breast cancer, than lung cancer and other diseases. No, it’s not a competition. But it is important to be educated on the facts and to be informed so we know how we can live healthier and how we can help the ones we love lead healthier lives. That’s what February celebrates.

One thing you can do for your heart, is to laugh. Research shows that people who laugh are less likely to have a heart attack (yes there are always other factors like family history, etc., but a laugh is good for this organ) and that laughter helps our heart perform better. Dr. Michael Miller of the University of Maryland did this important research. To read all the details click here.

Over the years, laughter has been the subject of much research and the findings are great. We don’t need a prescription from our doctor. We don’t need to worry about side effects like loose stools, fatigue or loss of appetite.  You may suffer from wet undies if you are one of those laughers with a sensitive bladder, but otherwise, it’s a safe activity and healthy resource.

I’d like to close this blog with a tribute to my uncle Bob Johnson who died two weeks ago today. He was buried last Monday. He had an illness that was associated with his heart but I know he doesn’t want us to think of him in terms of his illness or a “bad heart.” He lived nearly 87 years of a wonderful, happy life. And his heart was one of the best you’d ever want to encounter. He would always greet me with his infectious smile, bright blue eyes and a warm greeting like “Hey darlin…” He was my opponent in our ongoing verbal chess match of politics where there were only winners because of the time we spent together and the enriching encounter we shared. I believe it was laughter and his great attitude that contributed to the full life that he lived.

Always smiling, blue eyes always twinkling... he was my political discussion and wine buddy!

Always smiling, blue eyes always twinkling… he was my political discussion and wine buddy!

I had the honor of writing the story of his life in his obituary that I share here.

Many of you didn’t know my Uncle Bob but I know that you each have an Uncle Bob (or Tom, or Saul, or Sam or Aunt Sue or Aunt Kathy or Nana Maria or Grandpa Rick or… ) in your life who embodies joy and laughter. Whether they are with you here physically on Earth or are here in spirit, celebrate them with some laughter.  Honor your love for them and do a kind act for your heart and those around you who share in the laughs!  Laugh to Live …. happier, healthier and in the moment!